Globe-Trotting with an Ordinary Ugandan Passport: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
“Hey Globe Trotter! You know, you’re never around. Are you even in Uganda? ”
This falls short of capturing some of the ways my colleagues and homies have used to start conversations with me and cop-out excuses for excluding me from festivities..
When asked about hobbies, most people will mention travelling. Motivational speakers encourage travel, in their own way of making us see the world from a different perspective. “Get a fresh perspective on life”, they say. “Catch flights, not feelings”, they say. Others even encourage us to catch both feelings and flights. Here’s to bumping into a billionaire human that will marry me, LOL.
Being a frequent flyer is something I dreamt of as a kid. Mum and I have a running saying “enyonyi zifukke boda” to mean that I would use planes as much as I use motor bikes.
My new 9–5 hustle involves quite some travel — an exciting and great opportunity to live my dream right?? WRONG!
For a person like me, the realisation of this aspiration is difficult to attain because I hold an ordinary Ugandan Passport.
In this blog, I share my October to December 2022 travel wrap: the visa processes, the journeys, my stays and lessons learned from each trip. Friends, relatives and in-laws, fasten your seatbelts for my experience travelling while black with a Ugandan passport.
Our first destination — MALAYSIA
Malaysia was the first Obodo Oyibo¹ country I travelled to. If someone were to ask me how to travel to this nation’s capital Kuala Lumpur while black and a woman, my advice would be DON’T.
Travelling to Kuala Lumpur left me traumatised and afraid of travelling outside of East Africa ever again. You will need to wear your oxygen masks for this. 🤕🤕
The Visa Process and Travel
Ugandans receive visa on arrival upon entry in Malaysia.
But, there is a catch before you travel from Entebbe. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the MF National Aviation Services Uganda team (NAS Uganda).
A set of humans that you will interact with before you get to the on-boarding and baggage check-in table while at Entebbe ‘International’ Airport. These are people that will have you thinking twice about your trip and as I have been told by colleagues, cause you to miss a flight on flimsy technicalities. Forget what you saw in the viral videos!
I listed my purpose for travel as tourism and despite having all the requirements as listed by the Malaysian Consulate to Uganda, the lady from NAS Uganda asked for more documents and proof that I was eligible to travel. Thank goodness I was prepared.
She insisted on me showing her hard cash, identification of the person that was hosting me, and proof of funds, among others.
She held me there for a while as she consulted what I think is a travel bible with travel commandments and unless you have everything and follow the commandments to the dot or are willing to “buy someone lunch” you are most likely to miss your flight.
The lady informed me that the USD300 I had in cash was not sufficient for her to let me proceed. She consulted her bible again and whispered with her colleagues.
She eventually let me pass with caution — I was to keep everything she had asked for on me, because they would be asked of me at each stop. Dearest gentle reader, the only things I was asked for were my return ticket and Yellow Fever certificate.
The Business Class Lounge Experience.
My flight had a long layover in Doha, and the options that I was given had crazy layovers and very early flights. The flight I selected had more than an 8-hour layover. I asked people that had travelled before and I was told to find something to occupy me — find a corner at the airport, clean it and lay down. I inquired further and that’s how I learnt about airport lounges. I was told to get lounge access but colleagues, this girl had no money, even the USD300 had, I had dipped my hand in my emergency account cookie jar.
Long story short , access to the Al Mourjan Business Lounge was secured for me and I had a great time there. The air in there smelt different, there were all-you-can-eat restaurants and soft drinks centres everywhere. I had an opportunity to shower and rest. The lounge life is meant for me. Poverty die! 😆😆
Ladies and ladies, we have landed in Kuala Lumpur (KL) — Local Time is Racism PM, IN 2022!
I should have known from the way that the officials at KL International Airport did not want to talk to me, that it was not going to be a pleasant stay. I stayed at a place called VE Residence and only 1 waiter at the establishment spoke to me as a human being. No one helped with my queries unless I went through a Malaysian work colleague. The other residents visibly avoided the elevators I was in, would walk away in a different direction and hold tight onto their masks when I passed. The stares my goodness, if stares could kill, I would be dead.
We went shopping at the Central Market, Petaling Street and at a big mall. I was with another black colleague from the Caribbean Islands. People kept taking pictures and videos of us, we were avoided like we were plagues and while moving from Central Market to Petaling Street, we were accosted by 2 homeless men, and one followed us for a while.
While at Petaling Street, racial slurs were hurled at us -my colleague’s internet was acting up and the cabs outside well, did not want to take us. One called us stupid and spat at us after we questioned why his charges back to the hotel were high.
I remember holding myself in comfort as we walked, how I broke down during dinner with work colleagues later that night and how I fell apart when I got back to my room. I remember not sleeping very well that night and going downstairs late the following day. I could not wait to go back home. I have never longed for Uganda that much. I cannot believe I once entertained the thought of relocating to KL.
On the flip side, KL has a wide range good shops, if you can stomach the racism, then well and good.
Trip Back
I had another longish layover but without access to the lounge, I tried some Starbucks and enjoyed some shopping. Yes, I had been paid and given what I had experienced, I needed to treat myself. 😎😎
Our flight was delayed twice and we were given stale food by the airlines, but none of that mattered to me. I was out of KL!
When the plane landed at Entebbe, I felt safe again and I did not want to talk about my trip.
Next stop, SOUTH AFRICA
The Visa Process — to stay or to go.
I had made numerous inquiries on what the process would be, countless google searches gave different results on which document I was to fill. Emails and calls yielded nothing. In the end, I had to physically go to the VFS office for the correct form to fill in.
The silence and semblance of tranquility outside the VFS building does not prepare you for the mess that is the visa process for South Africa. Wueeeeeeeeeeeh²!!!
Anyway, I gathered all the required documents, submitted my application and then came the wait.
7 days is the minimum number of days that one is supposed to wait and 13 days later, I had not received the call/ email telling me to go collect my passport. 3 days before my travel date, I called the VFS office and the kind lady I talked to told me to call the South African High Commission. She gave me the number and when I called, the lady, unbothered, told me the system had broken down and that there were delays. That there was a backlog and I had to wait.
The panic set in and I told my colleagues that we would have to explore online attendance. On further inquiry, I was given 2 options, to either go and strike at the South African High Commission or get a “gamba n’ogu”³ who would plead my case and make the process easier. Striking was not an option so to finding a pulida⁴ I went. As the gods would have it, I found one and colleagues, things worked fast and I received the email to get my passport, the day before I travelled.
Journey
I used Ugandan Airlines because they had a direct flight, thank goodness. The trip was flawless, I was amazed by how seemingly organised O.R Tambo Airport was, big too. My rider had already arrived and off we went to Farm House.
We spent an hour or so, driving around in corners and getting lost before we could find the location of the hidden gem and the driver remained calm and kept apologising throughout. When we finally got there, I was so exhausted, argh jetlag, goodness but never scared despite us driving around in the wilderness. I was welcomed by our host who led me to my room and had saved me dinner. It was delicious.
The trip back was interesting, thank goodness for Uganda Airlines’ direct flights. I was “randomly” selected at O.R Tambo for a bomb residue check and the man could not explain why of all people, he had selected me.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Stay
Our stay at Farm House was beautiful, the intentionally hidden gem is the kind of place I would love to go back to. We had all our delicious farm sourced meals together and despite my introverted nature, I enjoyed those bits. I was introduced to Maltabella porridge, made by the gods and I tried Rooibos tea for the first time.
We stayed one and a half extra days to explore Johannesburg’s nightlife and tour Soweto the next day. The site seeing was interesting, fun and heart breaking in equal measure.
I forgot about the hustle I went through to acquire the visa during my stay but heaven knows that I am not yet ready to go through that wahala⁵ again.
Final Destination: JORDAN
The Visa Process
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Yet another stressful venture that had me reconsidering the trip. My host, who initially agreed to help me secure the necessary approval, later informed us that their attorney advised that I should apply on my own.
10 failed applications later because the website kept websiting, I had to call the embassy in Kenya, because there is no embassy in Uganda and the kind lady I talked to walked me through another application process, which also did not work I called a travel agent whose services I had had the pleasure of getting and she found another way around the system.
Fam, after 14 attempts, I finally submitted my application. Hooray, we cheered only for me to get a rejection message and email within 6 minutes. Yooooo!
I informed the host and they decided to apply for me as I had earlier requested. I got the approval to travel.
Travel
Ethiopian Airlines was my airline of choice, since it was the lesser evil of all the options that I had been given. I had to stomach my fears given my past experience with the available airlines owing to my holding of a Ugandan passport.
At the airport, the NAS Uganda man that checked my documents asked for my visa, which I of course did not have as it was to be received upon payment in Jordan, provided I had an approval. Mr. Man insisted I should have had one.
Me: Do you know the visa process for Ugandans to travel to Jordan?
NAS Uganda Man: No, I don’t but you must have a visa before I let you board. According to this book, you must have a visa.
Me: Goes ahead to explain to the man the process, shows him EVERYTHING as per the requirements from the MOI in Jordan.
NAS Uganda Man: You don’t have your return ticket printed, that’s also a problem.
Me: I have showed you the ticket on my phone, must I print it out?
NAS Uganda Man: Yes, print it out. For me to let you pass, you must buy me lunch. You don’t have the visa that I need to see too.
Me: Calls my host, who explains the same MF process to the NAS Uganda Man.
At this point, I am rolling my eyes so damn much because this man kept insisting. I had to either show him my Visa or “buy him lunch.”
When he gets off the call with my host in Jordan, I ask him whether I should call my driver to take me home.
NAS Uganda Man: There’s no need to get frustrated, I was just ensuring that you’re going where you say you’re going. All is well now that I have talked to your host.
I later found out that the document he was looking for is a passenger locator form which I had, but he kept calling it a visa.
The trip back was alright but my luggage was left in Addis Ababa and I had to get it the next day from NAS Uganda. It took unionising with the other people I found there to keep demanding for someone to work on us, the insurance company didn’t assist me in any way despite having travel insurance.
Stay
We were booked at Hilton Dead Sea and my goodness, all the fears I had given my experience in Malaysia vanished. Everyone was courteous from the person that opened the door for me upon arrival, to the one that carried my luggage to the room.
The hotel was so beautiful and the food was the best part of my stay. I challenged myself to try something new with each meal and it kept getting better. The chefs that could speak English kept explaining the meals to me, they were so delicious. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Unfortunately, I fell sick — the weather and being at the Dead Sea affected my respiratory system that threw everything off. I could barely stay conscious.
The host was informed and we (The other 2 facilitators and I) were told that the hotel had no doctor and that doctor’s appointments outside took 3 days to be made or that we had to travel to town to go to a medic. This was so strange for me- having coordinated meetings before and knowing for a fact that hotels always have someone on call.
I collected myself, went to the reception and asked, turns out, the hotel had a medical room, with an in-house nurse. I went to see her and she said that I needed to see a doctor, they called the doctor. At my big age I had to get a butt injection. I was also given medication and hoped for full recovery.
It got worse and it was after I got back home that my doctor discovered that the medication I was given was giving me terrible side effects.
I am so grateful for the co-facilitators who kept sending food to my room since I could not move. Getting sick in a foreign country is the PITS.
That aside, Jordan has beautiful humans, eeeh eeeh eeeeh, I tried different food and very lovely flavoured coffee. I also discovered Kunafa, a delicious Arabic dessert that is sweet and has cheese. Masha ‘Allah Masha ‘Allah.
With these few words, all I am saying is that:
● Have the person arranging or travel agent who is kind, gives a damn about your wellbeing and understands your context. This will ensure that they give you the best travel routes, have you on short layovers and will also have some logistics like airport transfers and lounge access among others sorted for you. This will also take some work off your hands that include looking for travel requirements and embassy correspondence. Not all the time struggling. Locate the easy life.
● Have money on you, a lot of it, all these trips found me with little money. I travelled on the mercies of my ancestors, I had to keep borrowing from my parents, and my manager to top-up, empty my savings account et al. One of my former colleagues advised that what she does is get USD 1000 advance from her place of work to travel. I hope your team is flexible enough to wire you money and will not have you explaining the why and when when gods forbid you’re stuck somewhere.
● Plan way ahead of time. One of my 2023 New Year Resolutions is not to do abrupt trips, giving myself time to organise and not be too stressed about the details and finances. Planning ahead of time also gives you some financial security for you can put money aside for that or request sufficient advance.
● Save some time to explore the new city, some hosts will arrange something and some will abandon you but it never hurts to ask. I guarantee you, someone at the hotel or one of the participants will be more than willing to guide you on how and what to do. Professor Google is your friend too. Google helped me pick souvenirs for my family.
● I am ready to marry someone for a less restricted passport, heeeeiiooo.
● Travel Insurance is a SCAM! Please be very clear with your agent while getting travel insurance. I had got UAP Uganda travel insurance and when it got to claiming the reimbursement of what I had spent on the medical bills and gaining my lost baggage, these people came up with all sorts of conditions and reasons as to why they could not reimburse. Conditions that were nowhere in the terms and conditions they had sent me. I ended up not receiving any reimbursement.
“Glossary”
- Obodo Oyibo: Meaning land of the white people. Learned from the many Nigerian movies I grew up watching.
- Wueeeeeeeeeeeh: Used to express mean a wide range of emotions. This was shock, exhaustion and despair. Learned from Kenyans Online.
- Gamba n’ogu: Runyankole for talk to this one. Used in Uganda to mean that one person who makes a call and whatever problem you’re facing is resolved.
- Pulida: Luganda word to mean a Lawyer and also a word for someone that makes a case/ pleads on another’s behalf.
- Wahala: Meaning problems. Learned from Nigerians Online.
This blog was edited by the indomitable Pauline Kahubiire. 💛
